Society worships fake celebrities

What makes a celebrity a celebrity?

People become celebrities today for a host of reasons: box office appeal, athletic ability, the last name of Kennedy and many others. Recently a new way to achieve celebrity has slipped into the American popular culture — idiocy and bad taste.

Ask yourself this simple question: What has Darva Conger contributed to this world?

The answer is, of course, absolutely nothing.

One could argue that most celebrities don't contribute much to the betterment of society — Tom Cruise makes movies, Tyra Banks models bras — but at least these people are producing something.

This newer brand of celebrities, including such compelling personalities as Conger and Monica Lewinsky, have contributed approximately zilcho to the good of society, or even the entertainment needs of society.

Conger seems to be the quintessential pointless celebrity. This past winter, as you probably remember, Conger wanted to marry Rick Rockwell on Fox's folly, "Who Wants To Marry a Multi-Millionaire?" Conger was married to Rockwell on the show, but sought an annulment days later after Rockwell had the nerve to attempt to have sex with his wife on their honeymoon.

The fiasco that was "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?" vaulted both Rockwell and Conger in to super-stardom — their personal histories became common knowledge, including Rockwell's former domestic abuse, and for about ten days both were more ubiquitous than the President of the United States.

Morning talk shows, late-night talk shows, news talk shows and trashy gossip shows kept the two on television approximately 23 and a half hours a day. As an audience we were sucked in and fascinated by the ludicrous floorshow to which we were being continually subjected.

Hey, if it's on television, it must be important. Right?

Wrong. Conger and Rockwell were by no means important. True, it was comical to watch Conger decry herself as a Christian and say that all she wanted was be left alone, as she appeared on approximately 17 talk shows a day, but why?

Because of the bad taste and bad judgement of all of us, she became famous for bad taste and bad judgement.

After her fifteen minutes were over, Conger faded from the public mind, relegated, we hoped, to bad jokes and "Where Are They Now?" specials.

Then, out of nowhere, came the Playboy pictorial. Months after her initial burst of fame, Conger is now being featured in the latest issue of Playboy, naked and proud.

Conger, who said time and time again that all she wanted was to be left alone and know to the world as a devout Christian, is shown on her hands and knees showing everything she's got to anyone willing to drop a few bucks.

Without taking time to regurgitate what should be going your head right now about hypocrisy and idiocy, let me just say that people will pay the money. This issue of Playboy will sell much better than a typical issue.

Why? Conger is attractive, but she is not as attractive as most of Playboy's models. She was selected not because of her physical appearance, but because of her celebrity.

She now says that she is seeking a job in television, probably as an anchorwoman or a talk show host, yet still she has not done anything that should make anyone care about her.

This scenario has played itself out over and over again. As a national audience, we eat up anything related to trash and television. If the two can intersect, a beautiful thing has been found.

Monica Lewinsky, Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers became household names based on sexual escapades with President Clinton. John Rocker and Dennis Rodman became over the top celebrities based not on their athletic abilities, but their off-the-court antics of sex, anti-Semitism, homophobia and failed marriages.

Paul Ruebens (Pee Wee Herman) earned his place in history through public masturbation and interest in Whitney Houston was all but gone until she was caught with drugs.

These are not the things we should be celebrating. As a culture we should be elevating our teachers, our philanthropists, our artists. If we can't do that and insist on celebrating entertainers, we should be celebrating those that actually entertain with their work and not with their stupidity.

The answer? It will take time to change the focus of an entire audience, but we should try. So, I urge you, turn off the insanity. If John Rocker is being interviewed or Whitney Houston's marriage is being discussed — change the channel.

Then, maybe these people will finally go away.

Matt Holsapple is a senior in the School of Liberal Arts.

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