What kind of country are we living in where 75% of those watching the Super Bowl do so for the commercials? Such a thing defies the golden rule of TV watching: ALWAYS channel surf during the commercials. The fact that a Super Bowl commercial spot costs more than the gross domestic product of Kazakhstan is insignificant when compared to the question, "Does it make sense to watch TV for the commercials, no matter how often we see cleavage?"

Commercials aside, the Super Bowl is asinine.

Now there's something no one can deny: the halftime shows are the ghastliest displays of self-indulgent celebrity swill ever experienced in the history of the world. Aerosmith and N'SYNC? You would think that after Glam rock and New Kids on the Block, people would have been more discerning and cautious as to what forms of entertainment they adhere to. Stephen Tyler clearly has no idea that no matter how much formaldehyde you use, the 70s are still gone.

Back to the game itself… being from Cleveland, I have an instinctual hate for Art Model. That is why I found myself rooting for the Raiders two weeks ago, saying to the TV, "You cretins had better win because I don't want to have to bet on the Ravens!"

Finally, I would like to thank the entire Ravens and Giants staff for helping bring down standard test scores all across the nation. How can one's brain not suffer when watching 300-pound men dance like they're doing a screen test for the lead role in "Save the Last Dance?"

Sure I might as well have urinated on the American flag while we're on the subject of desecrating our favorite American pastimes and heroes, but why else would anyone write these letters? Go Browns!