'Black box' only offers more 'headaches' for drunk drivers

Hey drunk drivers, you have someone on your side now.

Your freedom fighter's name is Don Ramsell and he's a lawyer in Wheaton, Ill. He doesn't think it's fair when people get charged with DUI or OWI. That's why he's invented the contraption law enforcement agencies are referring to as the "black box" that he says will help get you off the hook.

Considering Indiana's new legal limit of .08 begins Sunday (that would be late Saturday night in bar days), you might not have to worry about the change in legal limit levels.

According to a recent article in The Chicago Tribune, Ramsell's magic box — officially called Ramsell's Roadside Rights — is a DUI kit that aids motorists who are suspected of driving under the influence.

According to the article, the tape recorder-like box does the talking for you. First it tells you to only roll down the window enough to pass along your identification to the law enforcement officer and enough for the cop to hear the recording. The article said the box says, "Officer, please understand that I will only exit the vehicle for your safety or if under arrest" and asks the officer to read the enclosed information card. The card basically tells the officer that the driver refuses to answer any questions without a lawyer and refuses to submit to any field sobriety tests.

I know, I know, it sounds too good to be true. Surely you can't just drive drunk and when you get pulled over flash a card and hit a tape recorder that gets you off the hook, right? Right.

This new contraption isn't going to save you. According to Capt. Mike Francis of the West Lafayette Police Department, if you are pulled over by police and suspected of OWI, you are read the Indiana Implied Consent that reminds you that refusal to submit to sobriety tests will get you an automatic operator's license for a minimum of one year. And, oh yeah, I almost forgot, you'll still be charged with the OWI or DUI that you were trying to get out of. Damn.

Oh, one more thing, "you'll spend 12 hours in jail."

Chris Brown, investigator of the Tippecanoe County Prosecutor's Office, said you don't have much of a choice, legally.

"Any of us who have a valid operator's license in the state automatically consent (to sobriety tests)," he said.

This, he said, is one of the rules you agree to for the privilege of driving.

This Ramsell character, who's probably going to make quite a fortune with this "cheat the system" brainchild, might be giving the people of Illinois false hope. Sure, law enforcement agencies have gotten a bad rap over the years as far as DUI arrests are concerned. It seems that if you are arrested for DUI and you have a good lawyer who can find a loophole, you're charges will be dropped.

Maybe, maybe not. But by purchasing the black box for a modest $99.95, your chances of keeping your license are, well, about the same. You refuse, you lose. Consider the hundred bucks you spent on the box to be the first of many court fees and fines.

People in Illinois are just as confused as to what Ramsell is trying to sell.

Shauna Boliker, supervisor of the traffic division for the Cook County (Ill.) State Attorney's Office and Purdue graduate, said Ramsell's device doesn't make a lot of sense.

"Basically here in Illinois, if you refuse to submit to chemical testing for your first offense, your loss of driving privileges extends for six months," she said. "If you fail a chemical test, you lose your driving privileges for your first offense for three months.

"So I don't know if he's informing people of that."

Let's recap, shall we. This guy is telling people to refuse the test, even if (maybe especially is the more appropriate word), you're intoxicated. That, in Illinois, is an automatic license suspension for six months (unless you have Johnny Cochran as your defense attorney). But, if you submit to a breath test and fail (i.e. you're drunk), you lose your driving privileges for only three months. You're better off accepting that you're drunk and losing your license for half the time you would for refusing.

I know, you might be asking how this moron got through college, let alone pass the bar and practice law. But, I disagree. This man is brilliant. This "defense" attorney is marketing a product that increases the penalty for you, and he's sold hundreds of them already. And Ramsell (you genius, you) knows that after you spend a bill on his innovation, you'll use it to refuse. Then, after you're automatically suspended from driving, he knows that you'll have to come see him (or of like species) in his office to get off the hook for DUI. You'll be paying for that too and it'll cost you more than the $100 you dropped for his answering machine.

He's giving advice to people before they get in trouble. He might as well tell people that it's all right to get loaded before driving home, as long as you purchase one of these, limited edition, beat-the-system-contraptions. What's next, a recorder that tells police you have a gun, but thanks to the advice of your attorney-in-a-box, you refuse to surrender it. Bang. Now you have to shell out more money for a funeral. Thanks for the advice, pal.

Keith Thomas is a senior in the School of Liberal Arts. He can be e-mailed at editor@purdueexponent.org

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