Study shows changes in
relationship styles
By Megan Finnerty
Features
Editor
A nationwide study
of more than 1,000 college women confirms something that many Purdue
women already suspected — dating is dead.
And the hookup has
taken over.
A hookup is defined
as an encounter ranging from kissing to sexual intercourse where neither
participant expects future dates or commitments.
Many Purdue students
said that when they hear people hooked up, they assume it means they
had sex. But those same students said that when they themselves say
they hooked up, they could just mean they kissed someone.
Forty percent of
the women who responded to the survey said they had hooked up during
college and 10 percent of those who responded said they had hooked up
more than six times.
The survey, commissioned
by the Independent Women's Forum in Washington, D.C., found that traditional
dating culture is less prevalent today than before. Women said they
are rarely asked on dates. Instead, romance comes during informal gatherings
students refer to as "hanging out."
Mara Marshal, a
senior in the School of Management, said four men have asked her out
on a date in her three years at Purdue. Instead Marshal sometimes settles
for hooking up.
"I've hooked up
a few times, but that's not what I want," she said. "Hooking up is OK,
but I would prefer the date, something formal, dinner, a movie, someone
picking me up and asking me out."
The survey, completed
over 18 months by researchers from the Institute for American Values,
found that hooking up is an outgrowth of the loss of the definition
and practice of traditional dating.
Two major definitions
of dating were found: a dating couple can be in a fast-moving, highly
committed relationship, including sex, sleeping at one another's houses,
studying together, etc., but rarely going out on "dates."
Dating is also often
synonymous with "hanging out," during which men and women spend undefined,
casual time together without making interest in one another explicit.
Kate Kennedy, the
campus projects manager for the forum, said the study illustrates that
women want something in between those two definitions.
"They don't want
tons of random hookups, but they don't want this attached at the hip
relationship either," she said. "There's nothing in between. And because
of that, you sit home alone on a Friday night, which is pretty lame.
Something must be done to promote a middle ground."
Jennifer Conrad,
a recent graduate of the School of Liberal Arts, said she went on about
10 dates and had two serious relationships in her four years at Purdue.
"I really didn't
do the bar thing so much … I'm more of the get together, stay together
type. But I wish it were more old fashioned, not just about sex or no
commitment at all."
Tracy Biggs, a senior
in the School of Liberal Arts, said she wishes more men would ask women
out on dates.
"I'd prefer that
they ask you out, the genuine, old fashioned type of date. I'm not afraid
of asking guys out, but it's weird to ask guys out; you just don't know
how they are. Sometimes it takes forever to get them to take you seriously."
Several men interviewed
for this article said that they don't ask more women out for fear of
rejection. This makes the hookup seem like a stress-free way to interact
with women.
Jonathan Bikowski,
a senior in the School of Technology, said he's been on about eight
dates in three years and had about 12 hookups, but he would prefer to
go on more dates.
"I wish girls would
ask us out," he said "I give them my number, so if they call, I know
they're interested, and that's a step in the right direction."
Kennedy said the
problem is that no one wants to take a risk. "Spending that one-on-one
time together is important," she said. "It doesn't matter who asks or
pays, but it's the time together that students need in order to get
to know each other. That's key and that's missing."
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