‘Bubble Boy’ fails
to entertain
By Ayall Sagi
Staff Writer
Jerry Seinfeld devoted a whole episode to a "bubble
boy" and succeeded heavily. Disney devoted a whole movie to "Bubble
Boy" and failed miserably.
Jake Gyllenhall plays Jimmy Livingston, aka Bubble
Boy, who was raised by psychotic Christian mother (Swoosie Kurtz), who
feeds him germ-free cookies in the shapes of crucifixes and teaches
him everything he needs to know. For example, that there is only one
channel on TV, if you leave the bubble you'll die and the pretty girl
next door is a whore.
Marley Shelton plays Chloe, the girl next door,
who ventures over out of curiosity to meet Jimmy. Eventually, the two
become best friends. After an on-and-off relationship with her deadbeat
boyfriend, Chloe announces her engagement to the loser. Jimmy is heartbroken.
Jimmy realizes that he has to tell Chloe how he
feels and constructs a plastic bubble in which he can venture from California
to Niagara Falls.
After he gets used to his traveling bubble, he
manages to get to a bus station, where he gets picked up by a singing
cult led by Fabio. After being kicked off the bus for insulting the
cult members, Jimmy then gets picked up by a crazy Latino biker who
takes him to Las Vegas on the back of his motorcycle.
Jimmy's next mode of transportation is a train
filled with deformed freaks held captive by Dr. Phreak, aka Mini Me
from "Austin Powers, the Spy Who Shagged Me."
He escapes the evil clutches of Dr. Phreak and
moves on, only to meet a crazy ice cream vending Indian who agrees to
take him to Niagara Falls. After an incident with a cow, Jimmy is forced
to leave him there because he has only one more day to reach Chloe.
In the next town, Jimmy is forced to mud wrestle
for $500 in order to pay a cab driver to get him to Niagara Falls. A
good script idea that didn't pan out on screen.
Eventually, thanks to an old man named Pappy, he
gets to the wedding just before Chloe says "I do."
The movie climaxes, and seems to have a meaning,
when Jimmy professes his love and removes his bubble suit to kiss Chloe.
The movie anti-climaxes when his mother confesses a secret she's kept
since Jimmy was 4 years old.
One has to wonder how a comedic movie, based on
a boy in a bubble with twisted adventures cannot be funny, but director
Blair Hayes found a way. This is Hayes' first movie and should be his
last.
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