Student remembers mother's battle with cancer

By Emily Baldauf
Senior Writer

Margaret Taylor glances at the picture of her mother smiling back at her and she smiles, thinking about her mom.

"My mom was a really big fighter," she said.

Taylor, a senior in the School of Liberal Arts, was changed forever when her mom, Theresa Tantillo, was diagnosed with breast cancer when Taylor was only 13 years old.

"When my mom found the lump, I could tell something was wrong, but you don’t think it is going to happen," Taylor said.

At that time Taylor knew little about breast cancer, but she knew the statistics — especially the one that said one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer.

She, like most people, never thought her mom could become one of those nameless, faceless statistics.

Taylor’s mom was her best friend. Before she remarried, it was just Tantillo and Taylor — and Taylor just couldn’t imagine losing her; Tantillo was 37, and her doctors told her she had one year to live.

"All I remember is hearing the word cancer — that word is just really scary," Taylor said.

Over the next year, Tantillo tried every available treatment including radiation, chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant.

The treatments and surgeries ravaged her body. However, Taylor smiles as she remembers the way her mother fought the disease and how hard she tried to be there for Taylor, even when she was at her worst.

"Nothing could keep her down," Taylor said. "She was the type of mom who just kept going."

Even though the experience was hard for both of them, Taylor remembers laughing a lot with her mom over some of the things she was going through.

"I remember going wig shopping with her," Taylor said. "She was never negative about anything and she was always cracking jokes. When she wore her wig she would always jokingly ask, 'Is it on? Is it on?'"

After completing the three treatments, Tantillo was declared "cancer free." However, one year later, Taylor suffered again when her mom's cancer returned.

"I was really scared because I had always heard that when it comes back the second time it is harder to kill," Taylor said.

With the news of the recurring cancer, Tantillo began to once again fight the battle she was determined to win.

Even though her mother was sick from treatments and weakened by surgeries, Tantillo never missed something that was important in her daughter’s life.

In fact, just three months before she passed away, Tantillo sadly told Taylor that she couldn't make it to her summer dance camp performance.

Sad and disappointed, Taylor was not really excited for the competition she had spent weeks preparing for. But when she got on stage, Taylor looked out into the crowd and couldn’t believe that her mother was struggling across a huge field towards the stage.

"She was so weak; she couldn’t walk across the field so she would walk a few yards and then had to stop to sit and rest for a minute," Taylor said. "I’ll never forget her walking across the field. She kept going right until the very end."

At the time, Taylor had no idea how close to the end her mom really was.

As Tantillo was maintaining her brave face, she was keeping a secret; the cancer had spread to her lungs.

Looking back, Taylor said she is not mad that her mother didn’t tell her that the cancer had metastasized.

"Up until the last day, we still talked like she was going to beat this," Taylor said. "She just couldn’t bear to tell me."

A few days before Taylor began her senior year of high school, her mom finally lost her battle with breast cancer.

Taylor still thinks about her mom every day.

"Not a day goes by when I don’t miss her," Taylor said.

Taylor now realizes the little ways Tantillo was preparing her for this.

"Now I can see the little things she was teaching me, like how to cook and do laundry," she said. "It’s hard; I still feel like I need her."

Although Tantillo finally did lose her battle with breast cancer, Taylor is determined to help other women become aware of the disease.

"I think everybody has to be really careful," Taylor said. "I never would have thought this could happen to me. But it does happen. It impacts people everyday."

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