Family contact benefits everyone

By Charise Pettit
Staff Writer

It's important for students to keep in touch with their families while away at college, whether they live in town or on the other side of the globe.

Extension specialist Judy Myers-Walls said communication is critical for keeping healthy families together, especially during times of separation. She said, at each stage of development children gain confidence with distancing themselves from their parents.

"From the moment of birth, children establish themselves as independent beings. While for toddlers that may only be a few steps, teenagers obviously go further from their 'home base'. People that are far away from home want and need the opportunity to touch base with each other, to check in and get affirmations and help dealing with challenges — or even just to get money," said Myers-Walls.

If home is a place where young adults feel accepted, understood and loved it is a great place to return to or get in touch with for special occasions or when school and life gets overwhelming, she said. Students agree with these sentiments.

"I think it is harder for students who live farther away to keep in touch with their families, but its important; even if it's just to say what's up. However, my parents visit a lot so I think I have a better situation than most who are far away from home," said Thane Hankins, a sophomore in the School of Technology who is from Hawaii.

Some young people do need to keep the family at a distance in order to feel independent, while other families of college students have a hard time letting go, said Myers-Walls. Families need to find a method of communication that works well for them.

"If people have difficulty with anything other than face-to-face communication, being far away can be hard. If they enjoy talking on the phone or e-mail, it may not matter that they are thousands of miles away," said Myers-Walls.

Hankins agrees, saying that he keeps in touch with his family anywhere from one to four times a week, through talking on the phone, e-mail and a favorite of college students everywhere — AOL Instant Messenger.

Sept. 11 may have had a different effect on each family. Immediately following the event, most college students felt a need to contact their families and sort out the information, especially for those that were directly effected, said Myers-Walls. Since then life is settling back into a routine and families need to decide how important communication is to them.

"Communication is important at all times, but now may be good for parents and young people to use each other as resources as everyone tries to put life in perspective," said Myers-Walls.

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