"Engineering Man? That’s not a superhero, that’s YOU."
With his drafting table and compass, he’ll bore you out of crime and still manage to make more money than anyone else in this room, Stephen Lynch said to the crowd in the South Ballroom of the Purdue Memorial Union Thursday night.
Lynch, a comedian and songwriter, thrilled the crowd with his singular version of raunchy acoustic comedy songs. Midgets, superheroes, homosexuals, sex, Catholic priests and abortion all have a home in Lynch’s music.
He opened his show to loud applause from fans, many of them familiar with his music. From his first song, he had audience members doubled over with laughter.
This first song, in which he described an "anatomical deficiency," told a story of a guy with only one testicle. He talked about being at a baseball game and feeling embarrassed when the umpire calls, "Ball One."
Another song, about a "childhood friend" named Ed, described a mentally handicapped boy who thought he was bread and could drive his bed, among other things.
"O, special Ed/ momma dropped him on his head/ now she keeps in the shed/ ‘coz he’s a little bit special/..I ran track, hang out in malls/ Ed ran head first into walls…"
In between songs, he openly admitted that political correctness was not on his agenda. At one point, he asked how many Catholics were in the crowd. When a good number raised their hands, he said, "OK, don’t look at me while I sing this song." He then sang "Priest," a song about temptation amongst the clergy.
He sang a song about his fictitious first child, which had lyrics such as, "I always wanted to have kids/ Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?"
It was hard to tell if Lynch was being serious or not when he introduced many of his songs, especially the ones concerning his wife. In reality, he said he did just get married, but he and his wife don’t have any kids.
In concluding that point, Lynch sang another song dedicated to his wife, called "For the Ladies."
"If you’re a woman or a man who’s easily offended, get the (heck) out!"
The song begins with a sweet ballad-like softness, in which a couple is lying in bed, and the woman tells her partner she is pregnant. It sounds believably serious, but listeners soon knew better.
"I could catch you unawares/ I could swear to God you accidentally fell down the stairs/ When I tell you that I love you/ I will look you in the eyes/ As I slowly slide that hanger up your thighs …"
Toward the end of the show, Lynch read a note from a "student" in the crowd, who said that he loved his music and asked Lynch to sign his CD. "Aaron," the fan, quickly got up and walked to stage with CD in hand.
Lynch gave him the guitar and Aaron sang a song about midget-tossing and one about a gangster cowboy. The performances were suspiciously good, and Lynch admitted that Aaron was actually his brother Drew, with whom he sang his final songs, including one about wanting to have sex with his friend’s sister.